08 August 2010 @ 11:51 am
Title: Only Second
Author: [livejournal.com profile] omen1x2
Rating: G
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing(s): Sungmin + Eunhyuk, Eunhyuk + Other, KyuHyun + Sungmin
Disclaimer: Like all fanfic writers, I twist reality to please me.
Summary: Sungmin's okay with always being second best.

Only Second
by Omen-chan

It hit him that night. Hyukjae had curled into his side and sobbed into his shoulder as he sobbed his disbelief that Junsu was gone. They'd taken him away and now all Hyukjae had was the boy he was clutching at so desperately.

Sungmin knew that he was only second best. But he was there (and he always would be, he promised himself), and that was okay.

He had pulled Hyukjae even closer, as if he could be pulled right into his body, where he would always be safe. It was impossible, he knew, but he could settle for second too.

The next morning, he'd made a deal with SM Entertainment. He'd do anything, as long as they'd never seperate him from Hyukjae.

He was more than willing to be Hyukjae's anchor. Even if he wasn't the anchor Hyukjae wanted, he could at least be the one he needed.

Hyukjae was the type to fall in love constantly. He'd come to Sungmin glowing one moment, and then he'd come to cry on Sungmin's shoulder the next. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, and it had its price.

Sungmin was always careful to never be more than Hyukjae's best friend.

Sungmin's purpose was to always take the weight off of Hyukjae's shoulders, not add onto it.

It never bothered him when Hyukjae was affectionate (with Donghae, with Jungsu, with Kangin), or so he told himself. It never occurred to him that his response was to do the same (more, better) to anyone else.

It wasn't until KyuHyun came to him late one night as he practiced, eyes shining with hope and smile trembling with fear, that he realized there might be another kind of problem, and he didn't know what to do.

So he was honest, about him, about Hyukjae, for the first time, and although it quelched that heartwrenching light, it also gave him a hug. And understanding.

He'd been clear, from the beginning, that Hyukjae would always be first.

And Kyuhyun had nodded, and smiled (no fear this time, but just a hint of familiar sadness) and had said that would be fine with him.

And Sungmin had recognized that look, and decided no.

Kyuhyun didn't need to turn into him.

He was never truly dissatisfied with his life. Not really. He thrived as a member of Super Junior, as everyone's friend, and, of course, as Hyukjae's best friend. They still played and teased and snuggled as they always did, and no one ever knew.

Sungmin was such a good actor because everyone thought he was a bad one. It's just that he knew when to be good.

It was when they were apart that Sungmin got to see just how much Hyukjae clutched onto him too. Finally able to see that Hyukjae just might see how much he needed his best friend, and, for the first time, hold onto Sungmin with both hands and whisper things like "Don't go" and "Never again."

And Sungmin almost would have thought that it'd be worth it. A way for him to see that, yes, Hyukjae really does love him just as much as the others, if not more.

But it's not worth it.

He's not supposed to put Hyukjae through this. Without him, who will be Hyukjae's anchor?

So he echoes Hyukjae's "Never again" and holds him just as tight.

It's just not ever worth it.

He thrived off of those moments when Hyukjae would glow as he talked on the phone with anyone that isn't him, because he'd be right there, his head in Hyukjae's lap.

Hyukjae might be the type to reach for the untouchable, but Sungmin knew that Hyukjae never had to reach for him.

And that's all that really mattered anyway.

There's nothing wrong with being second best.


Author's Note: Okay, short and bittersweet and written in about ten minutes. I hope it doesn't suck. v_____v
Current Music: 나몰라 패밀리 (Namolla Family) - 잘못했어 (Feat. 태인)
( Read comments )
Post a comment in response:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.